Saturday, June 1, 2013

Phantom of the Opera (Day 1)

Prompt: What do you hide behind your Migraine/Headache Disorders mask? What do you let people see?

This is an interesting question with which to open the Migraine Headache Awareness Month blog challenge. I wrote a poem in 2004 about what I'd let people see of my life.

It's not the best poem, but it expressed the way that I felt at the time. I needed to keep things under wraps. Three years earlier, I had done an art project with a similar message; Don't Let Them See. I made and fired half of a clay mask. Then, for the other half of the face, I molded the face, but left it unfired and malleable. In hindsight, I think I worried my teacher when I explained that the fired part was Me, and that the other half what what I presented to the world, changing to fit the situation and person/individuals I was around. But it was true. 

I'm not like that anymore, or at least, not for the most part. Sure I keep my pain number quiet most times, but if asked directly, I'll tell the truth. I don't hide my migraines though, and that's the part that I'm trying to get at. I've tried denying the pain, and it backfired. So now, I'm using the migraines that I feel to try and help others if not feel better, at least not feel as alone and scared as I felt. 

Witness this month's upcoming set of blogs. I'm not going to be hiding behind a polite mask of stoicism. I'm going to be honest about what I feel, while keeping it from being dramatic and obsessive. It can be a delicate balance some days, the truth that isn't dramatic, especially when life is drama filled, but it's for the best for the reader. 

I hope that you'll stick around to read the rest of the month's blogs!

Quantum in me fuit,

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